Dry Spells not Wedding Bells

I initially envisioned this blog as one that would chronicle my dating experiences with white men but my GOD! I am having the worst dry spell ever. So, I haven't written.

Until things re-lubricate, I'm going to try to post ummm... informational stuff? But not today.

Sorry to disappoint.

A question...

I guess the blog whitemenforblackwomen.blogspot.com is now private. Does anyone know how I can get an invite? I really enjoy his take on things.

Tolerance and Acceptance

I went out to grab lunch with a former (White) boyfriend last week and I noticed people staring at us. To be honest, it's not anything that I noticed before but in the case of this one guy, it was blatant which in turn made me observe the other people in the restaurant. Most people were politely glancing over the tops of their menus or discretely tilting their heads in our direction; this guy, sitting alone, was staring.

I should note that the "polite starers" were exclusively White. The man sitting alone was Black.

It started to make me feel uncomfortable to be honest. But after he had paid for his meal and was ready to leave, he detoured to our table and said, "Congratulations. You guys make a great couple."

It definitely surprised me but it made me proud that our nation has come this far. But when are we going to get to the point where people no longer stare or feel the need to congratulate? When will we get to the point where an IR is just a relationship?

Don't get me wrong. I stare, too. Especially when it's a WM/BW pairing but only because I think "good for her" and "I'm not alone." One day, I hope to not have to feel even that.

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I know. It's been 3 weeks and I'm losing readers. For those of you who are sticking around, thank you sincerely. I've got a lot on my mind. Death really zaps your energy.

Do Some Black Women Just Attract White Men?

I've noticed that not all Black women are approached regularly by White men. Is there a reason for this?

This has never been a problem for me. By no means am I a "ghetto fab" diva but I am an intelligent, strong-willed, beautiful Black female. I'd like to think that in no way do I come across as wanting to be White. Instead, I express the diversity that can exist within the Black population; we are not all ignorant as shown on television.

(As a side note: Black people as a whole have a long history of successes and sheer normalcy. It's unfortunate that the media portrays us as booty shakin', lazy idiots with a culture of bastard children and welfare reliance who sell drugs all while saying, "No you di'n't, girlfriend!" Or, as uber wealthy athletes/athletes' wives embroiled in scandal when our man leaves us for a woman with naturally straighter hair. Where are the middle class Blacks who work hard to give their families hope? We exist!...)

Anyway! I am great at digression so let me try to get back on track.

When I go out, I am always approached by White men. Just this last weekend, I went to a store to buy body wash and a cute White guy sidled up to me and said, "Hey." We had a brief conversation that resulted in my being asked to lunch. Later that same evening at a bar, unfortunately, I was followed around by a guy insisting on buying me a drink and chatting me up even after I broke the news that I would not be going home with him. He was also quite attractive.

But after browsing a few websites, I've noticed that not all Black women who date White men have this kind of experience. Majority of the success stories I've seen come from women who developed a friendship with a White man that eventually turned into dating.

I've also seen comments from White men who are interested in Black women saying that they are never sure how to approach.

Now, I'm sure I don't give off a "WHITE MEN ONLY" vibe, which brings me back to the original question: do some Black women just attract White men?

Is it a look or attitude or something completely intangible?

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By the way, Happy Belated Holiday!

Hi, again!

I know it's been awhile since I've posted and from here on out there will be more regularity.

This, however, will be short.

1.) I forgot my username and password and couldn't log on thereby breaking the ultimate code in start up blogs. I promise to never, ever do that again.

2.) My grandfather died this week so instead of what I really want to post (i.e. recent dating adventures involving me, a BW, and WM,) I am posting something very anti-climactic.

I will address a couple of points/questions that were posted in the comments of my last blog, though.

- I am indeed a Black female. At no point am I attempting to be deceptive and trying to suss out all Black women searching for White men. In other words, I am not a White male in disguise.

- Yes, I did sing the praises of Black men in my last blog because while I choose not to date within my race, I do believe that Black men have a lot to offer. I want the point to be made that I am not a "Black traitor" or that I wish I were White. I don't.

- Not all of my experiences with White males have been terrible. A few of the recent ones have left a sour taste in my mouth but overall I'm not giving up the fight. ;)

So, there you have it. A few responses and a general informational session about me. My hope is that this will be a celebration of interracial relationships (IRs) but from a lesser shown perspective-- that of the Black woman/White male pairing.

Now! Tell me about yourselves.

A Beginning of Sorts

I was looking online for discussions and/or websites dedicated to Black women who date White men and am thoroughly disappointed.

Why?

I am a Black woman. I love White men.

I have nothing against Black men. Black men are strong, beautiful, and unbreakable. On a daily basis they face purses clutched, eyes averted, fear and assumption of murderous intent, accusations of laziness, lowered employability. Truth be told, praise is warranted.

I just prefer White men.

Lately however, after months (no, years!) of dating outside of my race, I've started to realize that the White men I date may not have the best intentions.

I've been complimented on my ass. The problem is that I don't have much of an ass. My butt is nearly concave and yet White men still feel the need to mention how juicy it is. It's not.

And I've started thinking that maybe my mother was right. Maybe White men want a Black woman because they assume she's a "freak" and that she will be his little sex toy. Maybe it's a carryover from slave days when White men felt entitled, specifically regarding the Black girl "goodies." My mom said, "When he's had his fun, he will leave you."

After tonight, I'm inclined to agree.

Any thoughts?